Things that will make your computer meaningfully faster:
Replacing a HDD with an SSD
Adding RAM
Graphics cards if you’re nasty
Uninstalling resource hogs like Norton or McAfee (if you’re using Windows then the built-in Windows Security is perfectly fine; if you’re using a mac consider bitdefender as a free antivirus or eset as a less resource intensive paid option)
Customizing what runs on startup for your computer
Things that are likely to make internet browsing specifically meaningfully faster:
Installing firefox and setting it up with ublock origin
adding the Auto Tab Discard extension to firefox to sleep unused tabs so that they aren’t constantly reloading
Closing some fucking tabs bud I’m sorry I know it hurts I’m guilty of this too
Things that will make your computer faster if you are actually having a problem:
Running malwarebytes and shutting down any malicious programs it finds.
Correcting disk utilization errors
Things that will make your computer superficially faster and may slightly improve your user experience temporarily:
Clearing cache and cookies on your browser
Restarting the computer
Changing your screen resolution
Uninstalling unused browser extensions
Things that do not actually make your computer faster:
Deleting files
Registry cleaners
Defragging your drive
Passively wishing that your computer was faster instead of actually just adding more fucking RAM.
This post is brought to you by the lady with the 7-year-old laptop that she refuses to leave overnight for us to run scans on or take apart so that we can put RAM in it and who insists on coming by for 30-minute visits hoping we can make her computer faster.
There are people saying “what does this mean” so:
Meaningfully Faster
HDD means “hard disk drive” SSD means “solid state drive.” An HDD has a spinning platter and a mechanical arm that has to wiggle back and forth very quickly to read the information written on the platter, while an SSD is a silicon chip that has the information “flashed” into it (basically it takes a snapshot of bits with electricity - it’s unimportant how it works, just that it doesn’t require mechanical movement to access data, and is therefore MUCH faster).
Installing an SSD does *not* require an M.2 slot and does *not* require a ton of expertise on most computers. There are many SATA SSDs available and if you want to replace your HDD all that you need to do is clone your hard driveand look up how to install your new SSD on ifixit (link in a bit).
Your storage drive (SSD or HDD) is the drive that stores the files and programs on your computer. People often confuse long-term drive storage with “memory” and when they get low-memory warnings they think they need to delete stored files. This is inaccurate because:
RAM is Random Access Memory - if is basically the “working memory” of your computer, it keeps track of all the things that your computer does/is doing. For example: if you are working in your browser, the browser is not saving everything that you’re doing to your desktop so everything that is going on in your browser is using RAM to remember what pages you’ve got open and what images are on them, etc. Same if you’re working in any other program: if you’re writing a word doc and you haven’t saved it in a while, all the changes are being tracked by the RAM but are not yet saved on your storage drive. “Low Memory” doesn’t mean you’re out of room for your computer to hold onto files, it means your computer is low on memory to think about stuff. Because programs are written to use more and more memory as time passes (which is a good thing, for the most part, but causes frustrating problems for people with older devices) older computers will struggle to run modern programs with the amount of RAM the older computers have in them.
RAM comes in different speeds, and the speed of your RAM does matter but if you get RAM that matches the speed of your installed RAM you should experience better speeds from your computer. Some computers have the RAM directly soldiered to the motherboard and cannot have RAM added (this is pretty much true of all macs. I do not recommend buying macs.) but if your computer DOES allow you to add RAM it is generally an easy process - check IFixIt.Com for instructions: just search the model number of your computer and look at the replacement guide for RAM and you will be able to see if you can replace your RAM and see the steps to follow along if you want to do that. There are a large number of tools to look up what RAM will work in your computer. Personally I like the Crucial RAM Configurator tool. Just look up your computer and it will recommend compatible RAM. You don’t have to buy the Crucial RAM, you can use the Crucial RAM configurator to get the specs you need and then search for yourself by Size, Memory Technology, Speed, Format, and number of Pins.
Graphics cards are for graphics processing and they’re “if you’re nasty” because adding a dedicated graphics card is kind of a big hurdle these days: computers are smaller inside than they used to be and graphics cards are big and they are also very expensive right now. Unless you are using a gaming laptop you likely cannot add a graphics card to your laptop, and unless you have at least a couple hundred dollars to spare you can’t add a graphics card to your desktop either. But also they will only speed up a very specific subset of applications; if you don’t do anything that requires a GPU to get shit done (video rendering, really complicated math, etc) then it isn’t going to make your computer faster.
Norton and McAfee run in the background of your computer at all times and can suck up a lot of valuable memory, especially if they decide to randomly start a scan or check back in with the mothership to make sure you’ve paid for another seven years. They are annoying and they can slow everything else down - McAfee in particular is notorious for this. Modern Windows Operating systems (10 and 11) have a lot of security features built in at baseline and Windows Defender is a perfectly functional whole-device antivirus for almost all users. It was never true that macs couldn’t have software infections or couldn’t be infected with malware, it’s just that *people used to write fewer malicious softwares for mac( and NOW there are a lot more infections written for OSX *and* mac users often think they don’t need antivirus. Buds. You do need antivirus. Since Bitdefender only has a free virus scanner for Mac, not antivirus, and Sophos Free is only good for a month, and Avast has recently sold customer data, try Avira.
If you hit Ctrl+Alt+Del and click on “task manager” you will find a list of applications that run on startup. Programs that run on startup are turned on and active every time you start your computer, regardless of whether you use the program or not. So, for instance, let’s say you have an HP printer and there are drivers for the printer on your computer but you only print things maybe twice a year. If your HP Printer Print Utility is set to run on startup that means that every time you start your computer it wakes up and turns on this program, which slows down your startup time and takes processing power in the background. So just disable it on startup and only start the program when you need it. The only difference here is that it’ll take a few seconds to start the utility when it’s time to print. Things that I’ve got disabled on startup include: Microsoft Edge, Adobe, and Cortana.
Faster Browsing
You should be using Firefox anyway because Firefox rules and in literally hundreds of tests performs as well or better than chrome. If someone says that firefox is ridiculously slow it is because they’ve either set up a really weird configuration, have had the install go wrong, or just don’t understand what they’re doing. But ASIDE from that you should use Firefox with Ublock Origin because Ublock Origin is an *amazing* adblocker that doesn’t whitelist ads and lets you do things like manage cookies and block annoying popups and a bunch of other stuff. And as of 2023 it will be impossible to install Ublock Origin on Chrome so you may as well switch to Firefox now and live that ad-free life. Ad-blocked browsing speeds up your browser because your computer isn’t spending extra energy on loading ads and less shit loading means less RAM utilization means faster computing.
Auto Tab Discard is an extension that allows you to set tabs to sleep after an amount of time that you determine. You can customize your experience so that it doesn’t sleep tabs with partially filled forms, or doesn’t sleep tabs with media playing in them, or doesn’t sleep a specific tab for a session, or doesn’t ever sleep tabs from a specific website. Many people use OneTab, which basically turns your tabs into a bookmark list that opens the page when you click in OneTab, but I personally prefer Auto Tab Discard - neither of those are “better” than the other, it’s just a question of what works for you.
Faster if you are having an actual problem
Open tabs eat RAM. Your computer is expending memory thinking about what’s on all of those pages and even if most of them are slept you probably have more awake tabs than you need.
Malwarebytes has a free virus/malware scanning and removal tool that you can download and run to identify and remove malware or viruses that may be stealing your information and running background programs that are fucking up your speeds. If you think your computer might be slow because you might have a virus, go to malwarebytes, download the free version, run a scan, and follow the instructions that it gives you.
Disk utilization errors happen for a number of reasons and they will all slow down your computer. Here are some of the reasons they happen and some ways to fix them. If you hare having a persistent disk usage error issue *DO NOT* replace your HDD with an SSD until it is resolved because these errors can destroy an SSD.
Superficially Faster
Your browser cache and cookies are the things that your browser remembers between sessions: it might be logins for various sites or the logos of your homepage or a bunch of other stuff. If your browser is running super slow because you haven’t cleared cache/cookies for a long time, doing this can help because it will basically make your browser forget about the cookies it has been carrying around for five years for a site you haven’t logged into since four years and seven months ago. These are tiny pieces of data but they can add up over time which is why they will make your browsing experience faster if you haven’t done it in years but won’t make a difference if you clear your cookies and cache monthly. Doing this will log you out of all the sites you’re logged into (which shouldn’t be a huge deal, but you do need to be ready to log in a bunch, so you should HAVE A PASSWORD MANAGER TO MAKE THAT EASIER). This will make your browser run a bit faster, but if your computer is slow for non-browser reasons or if your cache/cookies have been cleared recently it will have no impact on your computer speeds.
Restarting your computer will speed your computer up for a bit because it will shut down all the programs you had running and clear your computer’s RAM of all the stuff it was remembering for as long as you had those programs open. This is, again, a superficial improvement, and if you have, say, restarted your computer three times today it is unlikely that restarting again will do anything for you. But yeah if it’s been a couple weeks, friend, restart your computer it is tired and it wants to run patches and it needs to forget the twenty docs you’re editing for a minute so it can get its head on straight.
Reducing your screen resolution can make your computer run a bit faster if you’re doing graphics-heavy stuff and have really shit built-in graphics support, but realistically all it is likely to do is make your computer look weird.
Your browser extensions run on startup and cause your browser to use more RAM at baseline; you should be installing minimal browser extensions and uninstalling any that you don’t need. If it’s been a while since you checked your extensions go uninstall the unused ones right now and restart the browser and you may speed up a bit. But the majority of people in the world run pretty minimal extensions so this is unlikely to fix most people’s problems.
Will not make your computer faster
Unless your storage drive is within 10% of its maximum capacity it is in no way fucking up your speed. If it is within 10% of capacity go delete whatever’s in your downloads folder, clear out your temp files, and empty your recycle bin. If that doesn’t take care of it, use a backup drive or a thumb drive and copy off the photos, videos, and music you don’t use very often, and only keep what you’re using on your computer. If you’ve got an SSD having too little storage available can fuck with the lifespan, so aim to keep at least 10% free.
Registry cleaners are supposed to clean your computer’s registry; basically they’re supposed to look at the index of all the stuff your computer knows and delete redundant or outdated entries on the index. However it has been literal decades since a registry cleaner would be able to meaningfully improve performance while they can still absolutely fuck your computer up bad enough that it needs a reinstall and a lot of them are just straight up malware, some of them are actual for-realsies ransomware, a bunch of them sell your data, and you don’t need ANY of them. If you don’t know enough to fuck around with your registry by hand you shouldn’t trust some random ass software that has a history of data breaches and virus infections associated with it. Fuck all registry cleaners.
Manual drive defragging has been obsolete on Windows Machines since Windows 7 shipped with an automatic defragging utility in 2011. In the past when you saved a file to a hard drive it might save that file in a bunch of little pieces scattered all over the platter, so accessing that file meant accessing all the *fragments* of that file and “defragging” meant taking some time every once in a while to put files together into whole files instead of fragments. But then eleven years ago Windows made that process automatic, so unless you have *seriously* fucked up your computer somehow it shouldn’t be an issue, and if it is an issue you can run a defrag and then make sure automatic defragging is enabled. But that whole conversation is probably moot since SSDs don’t need to be defragmented (and defragging them actually adds to the device wear). So basically if your computer actually DOES need a defrag it is probably more fucked than you initially thought and unless that is the case then it is already defragging so doing an additional defrag won’t make anything faster and/or might cause extra wear to an SSD.
If you are using an older computer and it is tortuously slow and you can’t upgrade the RAM or swap in an SSD but you *can* install software, I would strongly recommend installing Linux.
The vast majority of people these days use computers primarily for web browsing and occasionally use an office suite. Most people don’t even store their music or photos on their computers these days. If your computer is basically an internet machine that you don’t use for anything other than browsing and basic word processing/spreadsheets, then there is no reason not to switch to Linux.
I would recommend installing Linux Lite, which is a well-supported, widely-used distro that most computers built within the last twenty years should be able to run. It’s called “Lite” because it is an operating system that requires minimal processing, storage, and memory to run.
To do this you will need:
A 4GB USB stick or a blank DVD to create installation media
An internet connection to download the software
Another computer or phone that you can use to follow the instructions, or a printed/written copy of the installation guide
A computer on which to install Linux. Installing Linux as the sole operating system on this computer (which is my recommendation here) will mean that everything else on the computer is deleted. Save all of your files/movies/music/etc. to a backup drive or another computer before you install Linux, because installing a new OS will delete literally everything on the computer and make it impossible to get back.
Follow the instructions for installing Linux Lite, and then you can install software on your new OS. Linux Lite comes bundled with Libre Office, which is a free office suite like Microsoft Office that has programs similar to Word, Excel, and Powerpoint. It installs with Chrome, so I would recommend installing Firefox and uninstalling Chrome as soon as you’re able to get on the internet.
After that you can pick and choose from a wide variety of linux-compatible software and you can use your computer as a regular computer. I’d say that it’s probably a good idea to be picky about what software you install, and to try to keep your computer as lean as possible if you’re trying to get a longer life out of an old device.
There are a lot of people in the notes who are saying “my computer can’t even load four tabs” or “my computer can’t even open the software I need to do this” and if that is your computer I think you’ve pretty much got nothing to lose from installing Linux. If your computer is essentially unusable in Windows then it’s probably not going to be *less* functional in Linux, unless you’re keeping the computer the way that it is for some very specific software you’re using.
A lot of people think that they can’t uses Linux because it’s entirely in the command line or doesn’t have a graphic interface or something, but most linux distros only look about as different to users as windows does to mac or vice versa.
This is what the Linux Lite default desktop looks like:
It’s got a start menu and a task bar and folders on the desktop, same as any other computer. It’s very easy to use and has the help manual installed right there as soon as you’re up and running so that you can troubleshoot your way through any issues.
Really, seriously: if your computer is slow as fuck and all you use it for is web browsing, this will make your computing experience significantly better without having to buy anything but a thumb drive.
People are reblogging just the first section of this post and asking what these things mean, so I’m reblogging this in hopes that they’ll see the comprehensive update in the notes.
man sometimes i really want to get back into welding but then i remember that the guys from the first course i took won’t be there and change my mind
comprehensive list of things that happened to me in my welding course with The Guys:
- was the only one to get an A the first grading period. had to stop them from putting me on their shoulders
- became the official classroom mascot on account of i was the only girl. this meant i was an integral stop on any and all workshop tours. was referred to as “Our Lady Helena” on these occasions
- almost set myself on fire once bc my prof stood behind me watching me try a skill he’d just demonstrated and he shouted very suddenly very loudly. restarted my heart and asked WTF WAS THAT FOR JOHN and he called me a “goddamn wonder”. i almost got third degree burned over a compliment
- mentioned offhand ONE TIME that swords were cool. also mentioned my birthday offhand ONE TIME. one of The Guys remembered both instances and also happened to find a sword in a dumpster so he gave it to me for my birthday
- came in fifth in an arm wrestling competition
- french braided my hair in class bc i didn’t have time to do it beforehand. ended up with an audience of like 5+ guys trying to figure out how tf i was doing it
- told The Guys my college friends call me barbie. Mistake. suddenly had all 12 of them calling me Barbarian
- had some down time and made a silly little sculpture with some scraps. The Guys were endlessly intrigued by this and demanded to see some of my art school stuff. had a small crowd around my phone cheering loudly every time i swiped to a new picture
- accidentally mentioned the cafe i worked at. Mistake. several days later all 12 of them came in to bother me
- offered someone a haircut. Mistake. had to retract the offer bc suddenly Everyone wanted a haircut and it would Not Be Fair if i only did one
when you’re younger you make fun of it because it seems boring but one of the best parts of getting older and maturing is recognizing how simply lovely all that cliche shit is. sunsets really are so endlessly satisfying. the hint of lilacs in the breeze really is soft and delicate and sweet. sometimes it feels good just to successfully clean the sink, to find an affordable appliance in the color you’ve been wanting, to try a new recipe, to finally get through that one television series like how you’ve been meaning.
it seemed stupid because they tell you - it’ll feel quick - but it does feel quick. when i was younger it was like time was molasses. i couldn’t get out of there fast enough. all the eras of my life stretched out into taffy. but then you are 29 on a walk with a friend and you both just stop to smell the lily of the valley at your feet. you are both standing there, quiet, enjoying the simple moment of peace.
they say it gets better a lot, which used to have no meaning to me. better for me was undefined and daunting. but here is one way it got better without me trying - a few days ago i was walking my dog and stopped to stand in a sunbeam, turning my cheeks up at the shaft of golden fairylights, the dustmotes in the wood all shivering their little dancing bodies. a stranger stopped and kind of cocked her head and said basking? and i laughed nervously, already moving to get out of her way. instead, she said can i bask with you? and we stood there, full adults, a soundless hum in our chest. when the clouds came back over the sun, we made that awkward small talk - yeah i didn’t expect it to be this chilly! and haha spring allergies are comin’.
and you pour yourself a cup of tea and are delighted when you measure the sugar ratio perfectly and you manage to parallel park correctly on the first time (probably because nobody was looking) and yoga really did help your lower back mobility and brown paper packages really do tug on your heartstrings and you love sweaters and furry blankets and watching your little potted plants grow one new and shining leaf and you want to find your younger self and say. yes, i am nostalgic for summers that bent like wheat and were buzzing with low energy and sleep. but darling. adulthood gets better because the time condenses into a prayerbook of your own psalms, these tender beautiful memories. it gets better because things become prettier, gentler, kinder to you - somehow. without you even noticing. you just get to the top of the hill and you realize - oh, this is the thing i’ve been missing.
Now, researchers have put a nail in the coffin of porn addiction. Josh Grubbs, Samuel Perry and Joshua Wilt are some of the leading researchers on America’s struggles with porn, having published numerous studies examining the impact of porn use, belief in porn addiction, and the effect of porn on marriages. And Rory Reid is a UCLA researcher who was a leading proponent gathering information about the concept of hypersexual disorder for the DSM-5. These four researchers, all of whom have history of neutrality, if not outright support of the concepts of porn addiction, have conducted a meta-analysis of research on pornography and concluded that porn use does not predict problems with porn, but that religiosity does
If the concept of pornography addiction were true, then porn-related problems would go up, regardless of morality, as porn use goes up. But the researchers didn’t find that. In fact, they cite numerous studies showing that even feeling like you struggle to control your porn use doesn’t actually predict more porn use. What that means is that the people who report great anguish over controlling their porn use aren’t actually using more porn; they just feel worse about it.
Having moral conflict over your porn use (PPMI) does turn out to be bad for you. But that’s not because of the porn. Instead, higher levels of moral conflict over porn use predict higher levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and diminished sexual well-being, as well as religious and spiritual struggles. In one study by Perry and Whitehead, pornography use predicted depression over a period of six years, but only in men who disapproved of porn use. Continuing to use porn when you believe that it is bad is harmful. Believing that you are addicted to porn and telling yourself that you’re unable to control your porn use hurts your well-being. It’s not the porn, but the unresolved, unexamined moral conflict.
this is a joke but people in the notes are missing the point, so id like to try to explain something… I’m in the games industry, i know a lot of people who worked/work in triple a company positions.
preordering a game does *not* say “i trust this dev and they deserve my money to use to make the game that much better”
what it says is “hey boardroom, i will throw money at anything with this logo, even before i know what the game is like”
that boardroom sees that trend. they see theyve made their money back within 2 months of the game being announced… so the next time a lead comes to them and says “we would like to make this game, heres a budget and a timeline” the execs say “well last time we gave you 100 bucks and a full month, but your fans dont really /care/ what game you make, as long as it has our brand. so heres 75 bucks and 3 weeks. make it marketable”
this means more “pre-order exclusives” like cosmetics or different art, filler stuff that a side team can pump out in hours. every store, every platform will have their own version.
pre-orders do nothing but incentivise the shitty money-sponge practices we all hate in games. the point of a pre-order used to be to ensure you got your physical copy, but with most games being digital license anyway, that worry is unrealistic.
However when you wait for reviews, what you show that boardroom is “what we put out actually matters. if we make a shit game, we get shit sales. when we only give a team 2 weeks and a fiver we get shit reviews.”
so… love yourself, stop pre-ordering triple a games.
It definitely wasn’t a joke and this is a very good addition to my post, thank you!! You explained really well what I didn’t feel like doing with my one sentence post 🙏
So, okay, fun fact. When I was a freshman in high school… let me preface by saying my dad sent me to a private school and, like a bad organ transplant, it didn’t take. I was miserable, the student body hated me, I hated them, it was awful.
Okay, so, freshman year, I’m deep in my “everything sucks and I’m stuck with these assholes” mentality. My English teacher was a notorious hard-ass, let’s call him Mr. Hargrove. He was the guy every student prayed they didn’t get. And, on top of ALL OF THE SHIT I WAS ALREADY DEALING WITH, I had him for English.
One of the laborious assignments he gave us was to keep a daily journal. Daily! Not monthly or weekly. Fucking daily. Handwritten. And we had to turn it in every quarter and he fucking graded us. He graded us on a fucking journal.
All of my classmates wrote shit like what they did that day or whatever. But, I did not. No, sir. I decided to give the ol’ middle finger to the assignment and do my own shit.
So, for my daily journal entries, over the course of an entire year, I wrote a serialized story about a horde of man-eating slugs that invaded a small mining town. It was graphic, it was ridiculous, it was an epic feat of rebellion.
And Mr. Hargrove loved it.
It wasn’t just the journal. Every assignment he gave us, I tried to shit all over it. Every reading assignment, everyone gushed about how good it was, but I always had a negative take. Every writing assignment, people wrote boring prose, but I wrote cheesy limericks or pulp horror stories.
Then, one day, he read one of my essays to the class as an example of good writing. When a fellow student asked who wrote it, he said, “Some pipsqueak.”
And that’s when I had a revelation. He wanted to fight. And since all the other students were trying to kiss his ass, I was his only challenger.
Mr. Hargrove and I went head-to-head on every assignment, every conversation, every fucking thing. And he ate it up. And so did I.
One day, he read us a column from the Washington Post and asked the class what was wrong with it. Everyone chimed in with their dumbass takes, but I was the one who landed on Mr. Hargrove’s complaint: The reporter had BRAZENLY added the suffix “ize” to a verb.
That night I wrote a jokey letter to the reporter calling him out on the offense in which I added “ize” to every single verb. I gave it to Mr. Hargrove, who by then had become a friendly adversary, for a chuckle and he SENT IT TO THE REPORTER.
And, people… The reporter wrote back. And he said I was an exceptional student. Mr. Hargrove and I had a giggle about that because we both knew I was just being an asshole, but he and the reporter acknowledged I had a point.
And that was it. That was the moment. Not THAT EXACT moment, but that year with Mr. Hargrove taught me I had a knack for writing. And that knack was based in saying “fuck you” to authority. (The irony that someone in a position of authority helped me realize that is not lost on me.)
So, I can say without qualification that Mr. Hargrove is the reason I am now a professional writer. Yes, I do it for a living. And most of my stuff takes authorities of one kind or another to task.
Mr. Hargrove showed me my dissent was valid, my rebellion was righteous, and that killer slugs could bring a city to its knees. Someone just needs to write it.
This is the first time I’ve seen this post but I know I’m gonna love reading it every time it shows up on my dash
The Ship of Theseus is a story of a ship which, over time, has part after part replaced. By the end, 100% of the original ship’s pieces have been replaced. The paradox begs the question of whether it is still the same ship.
The Ship of Theseus is a story of a ship which has its pieces replaced one after another. By the end, every single piece of the original ship has changed. The paradox asks if this is the same ship.
The Ship of Theseus tells the allegory of a ship whose crew are replaced one at a time. Eventually every single crewmate has been swapped for a new one. No one left knows what the carved initials in the mast mean. The paradox wonders whether the ship is still the same ship.
The Ship of Theseus refers to a company which has experienced complete turnover and rebranding. The query wishes to know if it is still the same company. The debtors are asking.
The Ship of Theseus is about a family. The original constituents are dead now, replaced by younger generations which have dispersed, found love, married and gained new names. No one is Theseus anymore. No one remembers the bones. But the genes never forget. Who is the family now?
The Ship of Theseus is you, shed of all the cells which first made you. They’re stardust again. You’ll be stardust many times over. Who are you?
The Ship of Theseus is me. All my words have changed. Who do I get to be now?
It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:
Kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished - you kudos.
If you liked it, you should comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don’t care, we just love comments.
No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it. Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it’s okay. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity. Don’t ruin that for them.
Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It’s tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.
There is no algorithm, it’s an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.
For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don’t care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.
Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLANTONIC, like friendship or family.
Nothing is banned. This is an implicit rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.
People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they “complete” a story. So it’s considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.
Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite). It’s an archive, not social media. No one cares what’s the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.
Avoid deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - orphan it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to you anymore.
This is a creative fanfiction archive. No essays on your insights or theories please. There are other places for that.
I KNOW there’s plenty more I missed but I’m trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.
I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don’t berate.
People are so entitled in the comments damn like no you writer don’t have to put up with you being rude they wrote you entertainment for free
To the people in the notes who are insisting that they have the right to leave negative feedback on AO3:
What you’re not understanding is that fandom is not a service, it’s a community. I saw someone compare leaving a comment on AO3 to reviewing a product on Amazon - if you didn’t like the product, you’re going to say so. But fanworks are not products and you didn’t pay money for them. They were shared with you.
Leaving un-asked-for criticism in AO3 comments isn’t like reviewing a product you were disappointed with. It’s like going to a friend’s house when they’ve cooked a meal and telling them all the things that are wrong with the food. Sure, you can do it, but it’s rude as hell and they are probably not going to invite you to dinner again.
(“Can you leave crit in comments” has been a debate as long as I’ve been in fandom, but 20 years ago the argument was “I’m helping the writer improve!” and not “I am a consumer with a right to complain.” Fandom has gotten more creepily capitalistic over the decades but jerks are evergreen, I guess.)
Daryl and Marlin, our ship cats! It’s Marlin’s second season sailing (though he’s been with us three years- got locked at the seaport last season for crimes) and Daryl’s first! What sweet babies 💖
The people have spoken: What Crimes Has Locked This Poor Soul Away
You are Marlin, ship’s cat and mascot of the tallship Lady Washington. It is the summer of 2021, you are about a year old, and full of Mischief.
Lady is docked in the Port of Everett, and no one is paying attention to you- never mind the fact that they’re doing their jobs and getting money so they can keep pampering you. No, they’re not paying attention to you Right This Instant, so you decide you want to take a little jaunt off the ship and explore on your own.
In addition to the marina, the waterfront, and all manner of other delights, the Port of Everett also has a Naval base, so you decide to check it out! See what all the fuss is about.
Of course, wandering kitties without the proper credentials aren’t allowed on high security Naval bases, so when the Marines inevitably capture you and ask you where your people are and what you’re doing here and how you got here, you just curl up cutely and bat your eyes and meow the most pitiful meow because these new people are paying attention to you but not the Right attention, no one’s even petting you!
They call the number on your collar, which goes to the captain of Lady at the time, who… is on leave. In Florida.
“Ma'am? Is this your cat?”
“Oh god yeah where was he?”
“A high security government facility. Can you come pick him up?”
“Considering I’m on the other side of the country, no. Let me get in contact with the crew to send someone.”
“Thank you. Also he’s very cute.”
“I know.”
So the captain does just that, playing telephone while trying to find someone to go pick you up. Except by the time a viable crewmember is chosen and calls back to confirm, you’ve gotten bored and decided you want to leave.
So you clawed the Marine holding you and escaped.
You get a smidgen more exploring time before you’re captured again and taken to your crew and back to the boat, but at this point no one is happy including you, because no one pet you the Whole Time you were off adventuring and that’s a damn travesty.
And not only that, when you get back to the ship, you’re locked up tight in the aft cabin because no one trusts you anymore not to wander off and break into government facilities when they’re not looking, and then when the boat gets back to her homeport in Aberdeen, they do you just the WORST injustice and lock you inside there! For the whole winter! And then the following summer, because you are now a Criminal and Criminals don’t sail.
Except this season, you made Big Pouty Eyes at everyone, and they caved and let you back on, so you are a very happy kitty now.
With a tracker in your collar so this doesn’t happen again.
tumblr mobile won’t let me upload a voice recording, so I guess you’re all spared hearing about my thoughts that people (some of them at least) aren’t actually desperate for comments. What they’re actually missing is community.
screw it. I put it up on drive. I’ll try to figure out tomorrow if it actually makes sense or not- and I’ll transcribe it if no one else beats me to it
It’s not about comments, it’s about community. I’m lying here at 1:36 in the morning and I can’t sleep and that keeps going around and around in my head. It’s not comments, it’s community. I dunno if this is an epiphany or I’m an insomniac and I’m not making any sense.
But I’ve been running this blog for three and a half years now and seeing the things that spark joy in authors, and seeing the insecurities, and seeing people saying, “I need comments, I want comments, I have to have comments, if I don’t have comments then I just feel like I need to give up” – and I try and understand as best as I can but I don’t think I actually get there. And I think the reason why that is, is because I’ve always had some form of community.
When I joined my last fandom, I knew a couple of people who were interested in it on tumblr, but I threw my first fic out there not knowing what I’d get. The fandom was still small at the time, and…the show was on hiatus, and there wasn’t a lot of fic going on AO3, and so…when I put my fic out there, I actually got a response and it was pretty cool. And because I got online in the 90’s, when people commented to me, I commented back in a conversational tone, and because the fandom was full of people of a similar age to me – who also got on the internet in the 90’s – they also responded in a conversational tone. And next thing you know, we’re making friends, we’re following each other on tumblr, we’re having a grand ol’ time.
And so…for me, when I go into a stats spiral, it’s more about comparing myself against myself, and “why am I not doing better with this story than this other story”, and “why do people like that story? That was just a joke. This one that’s serious, nobody is paying attention to and why is that”? But it’s not so much about people and the comments or the lack of comments, it’s more about me and, you know, trying to understand my own writing and you know, what works and what doesn’t and relying on other people won’t tell me that and I know that.
And then I remembered the one time when I actually was upset that I didn’t get comments. And it was…I had organized this fandom event type of thing – not really an event – I was doing this thing, and anyone who wanted to participate or support me or encourage me was welcome to do so. I wanted to do a thing. I did…I, um, called it a ficathon, it was a March Madness kind of thing, where 64 prompts went in, and 1 prompt came out. And I was writing 64 fics at the same time and people were voting on them and it was great. And when we got to the final fic, and I wrote it and posted it on AO3, after – I dunno, a month? – of fanfare – I was getting 50 votes a day on these things, so like people were reading. I didn’t get comments. I barely had hits or kudos and it was a huge let down. And it wasn’t about the comments, even though I remember I wrote some kind of post and put it on tumblr that I was upset and whatever, and I remember writing about comments and kudos and hits.
But that wasn’t why I was upset. I was upset because I had created a thing for my community and it felt like my community ignored it. It wasn’t the case and everything was fine, and you know, I had posted it on a Tuesday afternoon or something stupid and nobody saw it. It was, you know. I…probably overreacted, I dunno. But that was how I was feeling at the time. It was an intense disappointment for me.
But it wasn’t about the numbers, it was about the relationship and the community.
And when I read some of the asks that I get or the tags on posts – oh my god, the tags on posts – when I see these things so often, it feels like what people want isn’t a comment, it’s a connection. They want people to talk to about their writing. They want people to talk to about stories or about the canon, the characters they love, they want to have a conversation. And for whatever reason, the way social media is set up, we expect that conversation to happen in a certain way or we don’t realize it can happen in a different way, and…I dunno. AO3 isn’t even social media. But it looks like it in a lot of ways. And so I think…I dunno, people look for community in their comment section. And it’s hard to build a community there.
If you have friends on tumblr, or twitter, or discord, or wherever else, if you have relationships with people outside of your fic, at least for me, the comments are less necessary but also, the comments come because – I mean, god knows, I was not the best writer in my fandom by a long stretch – but I knew a lot of people. And I liked them and they liked me, and I think that really helped make people want to read my stories. Because again, it’s that community piece. I’m looking for connections with them and they’re looking for connections too. And if they know me as a person, and they see a story with my name on it, they might think, “Oh, I really like Pi! I’m going to click in and see what her story’s about.”
And so, it’s…it comes down to community. Like am I crazy here? Am I wrong? I mean, obviously this isn’t the case for everybody, not everyone is looking for this community, but…yeah. That’s…just…it feels like it comes down to that. For me. That’s the piece that’s missing. That’s the piece that people crave, the thing they’re looking for. It’s not about the comments, it’s not about the numbers, it’s about connections and relationships. And that’s the part that’s missing.
“Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they’re 15” this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit
To wit:
I want to share some wisdom from my high school art teacher.
In my AP Art class, there was a girl who was just starting to experiment with mixed media. At this point she was still playing around, trying to decide what direction she wanted to go with her portfolio. So one critique day, she brought in an abstract canvas with some rhinestone highlights and painted and real peacock feathers. She loved sparkles and peacock feathers so she thought she’d try introducing them a *little*. And after everyone had given some input, the teacher gave her his advice, VERY roughly paraphrased here:
“So here’s the thing… I do not like this style. These are just elements that do not speak to me personally, but I see that you like them, and you’re doing interesting things with them.
“My biggest critique is, I only merely *dislike* this piece. I want you to make me HATE it. Go crazy with the things that you like. Don’t hold back trying to make it palatable to people like me. Because I am NEVER going to like it. And if the audience does not like it, it should drive them crazy seeing how much YOU love it.”
Her portfolio was chock full of neon colors and glitter and rhinestones and splashes of peacock feathers and it was a delight. Our teacher despised every piece lol, but she got great marks and I think even won some awards. And more importantly, she was happy and proud of the results. Because she didn’t limit herself by trying to appeal to people who were never going to enjoy what she enjoyed.
Takeaway here: be as cringe as you want. Don’t limit yourself based on other ppl’s tastes. They’re not you, and you are incredible 💕
“if you put too many people together they start shooting each other!!” that just sounds like usamerican projection, but okay
also: western lib: *sees an apartment building in a socialist country* western lib: is this a gulag??
i love the ‘imagine the energy consumed by this building’ because like. it’s actually very clear and obvious that a building of many apartments will require less energy than the same number of detached houses, since it shares services and thermal inertia
imagine going to visit so many of your friends and they’re like only a few floors away or maybe right next door
imagine the tenant’s union that this kind of place can form 😍
The ideal living arrangement, according to the people on this post lmao
If you like this idea then go live there, go live that dream.
I personally will live like a human instead of a lab rat, I want to be able to go outside and touch grass and listen to the wind blow through the trees.
Usamericans are so suburbpoisoned they don’t realize you can just. Walk out of an apartment building. You aren’t stuck inside.
People on this website talk about creating self-sustaining communes and working together and making accessible walkable cities and then see a close knit community in China with walkable shops nearby to every home and call it inhumane
